I'll be blunt: They sound like me, and you sound like somebody I would not want to live together with. Your respective approaches and attitudes to daily life are fundamentally incompatible, and life hacks, discussions and organization can only mitigate that fact so much.

The funny thing is that you can still love each other and maintain a loving relationship, just not in the same apartment. (Boy, that can be hard even for very compatible people!) My suggestion is that as a common project you try to find another (or two smaller) places which are close (close enough to walk home at night). With that setup I would give your relationship a much better prognosis.

Frame it not as a first step in a break-up but as a common project. You do that because you want to find a way to be with him.

I'll be blunt: They sound like me, and you sound like somebody I would not want to live together with. Your respective approaches and attitudes to daily life are fundamentally incompatible, and life hacks, discussions and organization can only mitigate that fact so much.

The funny thing is that you can still love each other and maintain a loving relationship, just not in the same apartment. (Boy, that can be hard even for very compatible people!) My suggestion is that as a common project you try to find another (or two smaller) places which are close (close enough to walk home at night). With that setup I would give your relationship a much better prognosis.

Frame it not as a first step in a break-up but as a common project. You do that because you want to find a way to be with him.

Edit: When I told my life partner about my post she agreed. Her comment was "that way you do just the fun things together".