In my experience, when people talk about problems, they often have the solution in their minds, but need to vent their emotions first.
I expect you've heard the joke about a consultant being someone that you pay to tell you what you already know, but in essence they do this by listening carefully, and presenting the information in a form that the client can use. Sometimes all they do is affirm a decision that has already been made.
If your spouse responds to humor, you might be able to express your need for a "consultant", and ask for their help as a partner in making it work.
If your spouse doesn't respond to humor, you're probably best off looking for a new spouse.