Hi quarague! This reminded me of a similar question here: Avoiding condescension in gift giving. That question has a specific and practical gift in mind - would you be offering something like that (i.e. you know the parents need/want a particular thing) or make a more general offer to help?

This question might be helpful (for talking with your friends, maybe not your family): How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging?

Hi PKU, I'm sorry you're in such a tough place. Unfortunately this site can't tell you what you should do - Q&A here needs to be focused on specific goal. So for instance, if you do want to tell her to only contact you for dog-related things, that's something we could help with. We actually have an older question that yours reminded me of, maybe the posts there could help?