I moved to a new country (Canada) for university about a year ago. I am doing well in my studies. I'm not so well mentally but that's always been an issue even back home.
My parents often come to visit and want to stay for about 2-3 months (which is a whole semester). Recently, my parents found out about my recent trips to the hospital because of suicide attempts from my land-lady (which I believe is way out of line).
My dad came out of nowhere during my academic term and it messed up that term for me since he wanted to 'spend time' and didn't realize that academic terms are so busy, especially if you're in science or math.
Now my mom is here and she is staying for 3 months. I'm on a co-op term right now. I don't enjoy my parent's company when they are here because they question and hate everything I do.
I am transgender so I started taking hormones about 7 months ago without telling them. They completely disapprove that and blame my suicidal tendencies because of it. They also blame my mental health issues on the fact I am not religious enough.
My mom hates it when I hang out with my friends or stay out late (which I do on the daily when she is not there). Recently, I got a haircut and I love it but, my mom looks at me with disdain and says that she hates it and would love it if I grew out my hair (to be feminine).
I tell her it's time for her to go home and whenever she asks for a reason I tell her that I do not like it whenever they are here because they control my life. I am 21 btw. She still asks for a 'proper' reason and I tell her the same thing. She refuses to acknowledge that she is controlling my life and uses the old line "you're still a baby to us."
She wants to visit again in August but them coming here is driving me nuts to the point where I had a mental breakdown in public and tried to kill myself last week and ended up in the hospital. She does not know about that recent incident.
Question: How do I explain it to them that I really don't like it when they're here and it makes me more mentally upset when they are?
I live in a basement which has 2 rooms. I sleep in the lounge/kitchen area on a couch. I do that even when they are not there. Since there are empty rooms they sleep there, on the bed or mattress. They travel all the way from Pakistan, they do not live here. My family follows Islam.
They pay for my tuition. I am earning right now which pays off my books, medication and leisure.