I have a friend I talk with online and the conversations we are having are rather short. I would like to have more engaging conversations without forcing myself and the other person in a conversation we don't want.
Here an example of how the conversation is usually going, this happens when I start the conversation or when the other person starts the conversation. The conversation example is quite generic and the subject is always a little bit different.
Other: Hey, how are you doing?
Me(5 min to 1 hour later): hey, I'm doing okay, little bit busy with school. How are you doing?
Other(1 hour to 2 hours later): "something small about the day only responding about what I said, in this case busy with school".
Me(5 min to 30 min later): "responds talks about something small about the day"
Other(1 hour to 3 hours later): "short response" & I'm going to sleep, cya
Me(5 min to 30 min later): Okay good night
As the example shows, I response quite fast since I have my chat app open at all times, which means I see messages almost always immediately. The other person always takes more than an hour to respond.
For me this is quite though since I don't know how to respond. This also makes me quite unsure if this person wants to talk, however I think this person wants to talk since I'm not the only one who starts a conversation. I tried different things:
- Only asking about how their day was
- Saying something about my day (as the example, also in my first response)
- Responding to questions and not starting a new subject(to give the other person space to talk)
- Take more time to respond to messages, so I give more space
How to start a more engaging, online conversation with a person who gives short responses and takes a longer to react to messages?
- Starting more engaging, online conversations with this person.
- Give the other room to talk about what they want to talk about.
- Not being clingy/codependent (I don't want this to be the focus of the question) however the distance should stay appropriate.
- I'm not the only one who starts the conversations
- We both are quite busy with school, however I'm not 24/7 working on it