1. Say 'Thank you'
My mother used to give me useless advice: "Take care, Dear. Don't have an accident." That irritated me until I realised she was just being protective. So, I started saying, "Thank you, Mom." My subconscious heard my mouth say, "Thank you," and assumed there was something to be thankful for. My mother never changed but I felt better.
When your friends complain and criticise, you cannot read their minds. You cannot know for sure what they are thinking so, you are allowed to believe whatever you like. Assume they are trying to protect you from making mistakes and say, "Thank you for that." You will likely feel better.
2. Buy time
A guy answered me once with, "Oh, I didn't think of that." This is brilliant. It takes the pressure off and let's us say, "What an interesting idea. I'd like to think about that." This affirms the other person and gives us time to think it through. How often do we react with a shocked, "No," only to reconsider later and realise the idea had merit?
3. Take advice / Focus on the issue
At work once, a stranger said, "You are doing that all wrong. Come round to my place and I will show you how to do it properly." It felt so rude and arrogant that I called his bluff and visited. To my surprise, his advice was excellent and has earned me money ever since.
Ask 'Why? How?' practical questions that get useful information. When we ask practical questions, it helps us focus on the issue and that makes it easier to forget about ourselves. Then we can begin to relax.
Change does not come naturally. It will feel like theatre. So, practise your responses in front of your mirror.