Let me introduce you to the concept of damage control.
It is absolutely unavoidable to offend people from time to time. Some people are simply sensitive and some other people are not so sensitive and even those you will offend sometimes.
But, you can make it clear you didn't mean to offend, it was not your intention. This is what most people do, it is a common and basic interpersonal skill. Also, don't assume guilt immediately at the first indication that the conversation is not going as you would expect because you would be shooting yourself on the foot. People can go silent for a number of different reasons: sometimes they have things on their minds that distract them, sometimes you are talking about something they don't find interesting, sometimes you are hoarding the conversation and they lose interest in participating.
When you notice that awkward silence, first, try to get back their attention and be welcoming to their input.
Well, that's my opinion, what are your thoughts?
Most times, this is the way to get the conversation going and everything's peachy.
If something is wrong, two other main things can happen, they can remain silent or they could not give you a straight thoughtful answer and you would notice because they stutter or deviate.
For the remaining silent scenario, you still don't know if it is your fault or they have a different problem disturbing their emotions, simply show you care about their feelings:
Are you ok?
Lastly, for the scenario where they get nervous when responding to any of the previous questions, again, show you care about their feelings and show you are willing to recognize responsibility:
Did I say something wrong?
If it turns out you did say something that offended them, then you are presented with the opportunity to explain yourself better or take it back and apologize or make it clear that your opinions are yours alone and you are not trying to convince or force your beliefs on anyone else.
When you said...
right now, I don’t even know who I am.
I took that as your attempt at being honest about still not having firm inflexible postures, or not being tremendously committed to a belief system or a way of life. That's ok. That also gives you the option to be sincere when saying:
Well, I was just juggling ideas, but I'm interested to listen to your ideas because I think you are smart and interesting. You could change my mind, who knows.
I just gave you stuff to fill in the gaps and turn offensive situations into opportunities to let her or anyone know you are a caring open minded person, everything is up to you being yourself.
Best of luck.
