How should I respond to someone who spoiled the movie that I intended to watch?

Question

I presume there is not much you can do after somebody spoils a movie, but could we say something that may cause them to think before spoiling in the future? I don't like spoilers which is why I don't read review of movie before I watch them.

Citing a recent example, I was going to watch Kingsmen but a friend spoiled that for me. It turned out that the spoiler didn't affect much because there were other interesting moments.

So, how should I respond without overreacting? Is there something I could do or say so that he would know it is unacceptable to spoil movies?

I don't think it's a cultural issue but if it matters I am from Nepal.

Answer 1

After your friend spoilered the movie for you,

• tell him about the effect it had/has on you:

You were/are going to watch the movie yourself and were looking forward to it. By revealing possibly important plot points, he somewhat ruined the movie for you. You feel like you won't enjoy the movie as much (maybe not at all) as you would have without that prior knowledge.

and

• present a future way out:

Suggest to him to ask you if you have seen a (new) movie already and want to see it. In general, he should warn you of Spoilers beforehand, so that you still have the opportunity to intervene and say that he shouldn't tell you.

So your response should focus not on what he did wrong, but on the effect it has on you. Stay calm, do not overreact (there's no need for that). Tell him, how it makes you feel without accusing him of wrongdoing. He won't feel attacked this way, but he will understand that what he does is wrong and hurts a friend - you are friends after all, so he should care. You furthermore present him with an option to avoid spoilering movies for you in the future.

Answer 2

Be frank and be polite.

If someone starts talking about spoilers just say "No spoilers, I haven't seen the movie yet."

Most people will respect a kind request to not share spoilers.

Be aware that if you're the only person who hasn't seen the movie or doesn't want to hear spoilers It's your responsibility to leave, put on headphones, or otherwise make sure you don't hear the spoilers.

Good luck, may all your conversations be spoiler free.

Answer 3

Like you, my son hates spoilers. Whenever I bring up a movie that I've seen but he hasn't yet (that he wants to see), as soon as he hears the name of the movie, he just says,

Please don't talk about that movie, I haven't seen it yet, and I don't want any spoilers.

Now, I'm a bit stubborn, so I'll say, "But it won't spoil anything! I just wanted to..." And he'll interrupt and repeat,

Please don't talk about the movie, I want to see it, and I don't want anything to spoil it.

At that point, I'm well aware of his wishes, and that he's right. I'm not offended at all. Sometimes I'll ask him to let me know when he's seen it, and we talk about it then.

Answer 4

I am ... a little confused. The spoiler guy is a friend of yours, hence I'd imagine you are pretty familiar with back-and-forth between you. Has not your friend ever done something you didn't want repeated before? The answer to this question is almost entirely dependent on the style of speech you and your friend typically use.

With most of my friends, the correct thing to say would be "If you spoil another movie for me there will be mindless, cartoon-like violence."

I have some gentler friends, to whom I'd say "Hey [name], please be more careful about the movie spoilers, 'kay?"

See where I'm coming from? The basic message is 'do not do that again'; you just have to phrase it appropriately to your friendship.

Answer 5

I think the trick is to have a broader pattern of "what's acceptable" with people.

Maybe its cause I'm a Doctor Who fan - but a good chunk of folk I know just use the River Song approach to dealing with spoilers - good naturedly interrupting by saying or typing SPOILERS!. We all know what it means and least in the geeky community, it works fairly well with minimal fuss.

So, when it happens, just go "duuude, SPOILERS! I wanted to find that out for myself!" Keep it light, and don't make a big fuss over it. Just make sure the lines are clear.

Citing a recent example, I was going to watch Kingsmen but a friend spoiled that for me. It turned out that the spoiler didn't affect much because there were other interesting moments.

And that's also important. A movie or a book just isn't about the skeleton of the plot (unearthed in a spoiler) but also, what you feel about it. Its about the visuals, the acting (good or bad!) and so on. Even if part of the plot is spoiled, clearly, it didn't affect your enjoyment that much (amusingly one of the things that kingsmen's sequel did was spoil a plot twist right in the trailers).

Answer 6

Simply tell him to not narrate the events of the film to you. And if he does close your ears with your fingers and if he still continues walk away if you are really serious about not spoiling the film for yourself. Your friend should get the hint that you are really serious about this. And if he still continues you need to reconsider what type of friendship you have with this person. Usually when I tell my friends or colleagues to not do this they don't. I hope your friend is also that much considerable.

And now he has already ruined the film simply tell him not to do this in future and you are really serious about this.

Answer 7

I had this problem before, and for me, the solution was the other way around: I learned to cope (mostly).

Obviously, it depends on the exact contents of the spoiler, but to continue with your example, there was a certain revalation about a thirdway into that movie that was heavily hinted at in most movie posters and other promotional material. I don't think I would call a confirmation of that fact a spoiler. To me there isn't much difference between sitting in my seat thinking "Will it happen? And if so, when?" compared to "When will it happen?" Immersion is kind of broken either way (boo to the marketers on that account).

Same with general gists of the movie (that the main antagonist is a drug lord, for instance, or that there are Awesome Action Sequences^TM) or anything else that the movie itself doesn't really try to hide, like the devastating events that happen around the 20 minute mark (I didn't time it, but I think that's about right).

That event is even less of a spoiler considering how it's an important part of storytelling in general, so you should almost be expecting it, or something like it (without having seen studies, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the timing of events like this, kicking the movie into gear, and announcing that Shit Got Real^TM are within a few percent of one another from movie to movie, at least conventional blockbusters)

On the other hand, there are, during the course of the film, hints that there might be hidden agendas, or there might not be. I would not want to know the truth of those ahead of time, because that is something the movie is trying to hide. We are meant to be uncertain. Smaller stuff, like the initial stages of the antagonists plan are also spoilers, because they change the way you see sequences of people using drugs in the movie, but it's not a major point. Also, the film itself hints to the connection earlier, so if you're paying attention to those hints you will have figured it out already by the time it's relevant.

Once I realised all of the things I'm saying here, navigating the jungle of reviews and friends who had already seen the movie, and expecially social media where anything could happen was a lot easier, because they do usually have the sense to avoid spoiling the big twists. Also, this might not help you, but studies have shown that enjoyment of movies increases when you know the basic gist of what's going on, because you can focus on watching the movie rather than frantically trying to keep up with all the plot points because you don't know what might be relevant, and what might be important. Certainly, my life quality improved marginally when I became less afraid of (minor) spoilers.

I know that everyone are different. For instance, my sister is adamant that she never wants anything spoiled, ever, and I don't believe she will ever be able to change her mind the way I changed mine. So this might help you, it might not.