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I have been living in this house for the last four months and always paid my rent on the first day of the month. My landlord is an old lady living in the same house with me. We have a very good relationship and always talk during the breakfast/dinner time.

Every month she keeps reminding me that tomorrow is the rent day, which really bothers me as I always paid on time for the last four month.

Another payment is coming next week. How would I say to her not to remind me if this time she tells me the same thing? I know it's not a big deal, but it really irritates me when she brings up this thing in front of someone else (not every time).

  • Does she do this to everyone or just you? – ratchet freak Mar 22 '18 at 16:50
  • I don't know about others, but I think she does it to everyone. She really talks a lot to everyone and very friendly. She is kind of a person who can talk even though other party doesn't give much attention. – sbiswas Mar 22 '18 at 16:55
  • Do you think it's also just a way for her to socialize with the tenants? Perhaps she can't recall who pays on time and as a safety net just reminds everyone. – doctordonna Mar 23 '18 at 0:30
  • I think it's not the way she socialize with tenants, rather it's becomes a habit. Most of the times she stays alone, as soon as she finds something to start a conversation she goes for it. This is just another start point for her maybe. – sbiswas Mar 23 '18 at 14:02
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    She just may say this to preempt anyone from saying "oh, I forgot rent was due today". – Abigail Mar 27 '18 at 0:15
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As she is obviously not doing this to embarrass you or nag you in any way, I think she's probably doing this as a "friendly reminder", and as such, sees it as a favor she does you. The best course of action would be to let it slip.

However if it really bothers you, I recommand being extremely careful on how you word this. She'd be surprised by an out-of-the-blue outburst, and your relationship would deteriorate. As I said, she's probably thinking of this as a favor to you.

Thanks for the reminder. However, I know it'll sound stupid, but I can't help to take it personally when you say that. Could I ask as a favor not to be reminded of the due payment date? I promise you'll get the rent the first of each and every month.

Be aware though that if she's been doing that with everyone for a number of years, she'll probably forget and remind you again the next month. But if the first talk goes well enough, the next ones will be much easier to go through.

Ah! No reminders please!

She should get the hang of it after a few times.

  • Great answer, I will keep in mind in my response. Maybe I will just let it go. – sbiswas Mar 22 '18 at 18:38
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Every month she keeps reminding me that tomorrow is the rent day, which really bothers me as I always paid on time for the last four month.

Old people tend to repeat things and follow established patterns. If she's been reminding every tenant for the last 20 years, she isn't going to stop now... You can try this though:

"I setup a reminder in my phone agenda, don't worry."

Or you can setup an automated bank transfer, and tell her about it.

This will help her stop worrying about you forgetting to pay.

  • I tried this one, but she only takes cash. So no way to automate the process. Thanks – sbiswas Mar 22 '18 at 20:32
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    Hmm... Have you tried paying the rent one day early? (like right before she reminds you) – peufeu Mar 22 '18 at 20:50
  • I will try this month, hope her reaction would be good! – sbiswas Mar 23 '18 at 14:03
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Have you considered paying her early? If you pay the rent two days early, then she won't be able to remind you that she needs paid one day prior. You'll have already paid by then. If she does remind you, you can remind her that you already paid.

I don't know that it would make much difference to me if my landlord had the money early (I usually pay a week early with a bill pay app). But if it bothers you, you could always postdate the check.

Either way, this flips things around. Instead of her reminding you of something that you already knew, you put things on the basis of you having proactively handled it. And if she does bring it up, it gives you an opportunity to remind her that you already paid. That shifts the awkwardness to her.

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My landlord did the same to us. When I moved in into a sharing apartment, he almost kept a track of when I would return from the office and as soon as I reach, he would barge out of the main door and remind me about the rent, though my payment due date was 2-3 days ahead. I spoke to my roomies about this behavior and they told me that he had always been like this and we shouldn't be bothered it. So, even though he reminded me in the next coming months, we would say, 'ok, will pay it'. It bothered me in the first few months, but later I started ignoring it.

But, if this bothers you, you can start doing one of the following.

Put a reminder two days before the due date and when you meet her, say in a joking way, 'Lady, I have put a reminder to pay you the tent. See, I am so responsible'. Ensure to show her the reminder.

Or some other time, tell her how grateful you are that you have such a wonderful landlady who reminds you always. Also, tell her that half of the burden is removed from your shoulders.

The intention is to inform her that you remember before she reminds you. And also to maintain the rapport and yet be jovial without her getting defensive.

Or, just ignore her. Though you are paying the rent, she is still the queen of that house. She might be trying to exercise her rights or she might have had tenants who delayed the payment. We don't have to know. But, whatever you do, don't offend her.

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