Long post ahead, I will try to tell the story from my point of view, mainly because I'm not really sure about what's going on in the head of the other person.
A few years ago I used to date this girl, let's call her Mary. After 1 year she decided that I was not really her type and we both moved on without keeping in touch. Nothing weird up to this moment.
Several year passed and around 1 year ago I found this girl at my company, Mary was offered an internship position. We were working in different buildings, in different teams and different projects so there was basically no professional contact between us. She told me that her life at the company up to that point had been miserable, mostly because she felt unwelcome by her coworkers and technically overwhelmed.
Just out of kindness I tried to help Mary learning some technical concepts and tried to keep her company during lunch so we naturally got a bit closer again. At this point I think it's important to say that I had (and still have) a girlfriend, and I let Mary know immediately.
I'm not really sure if Mary got interested in me during those days or if she was just looking for new friends but she frequently tried to meet me outside of my office hours. For instance a few times I told her I had a plan to go running after work and she self-invited herself to come with me. After the training she tried to plan more activities together (dinner, meeting with other friends, going to a club) but I always declined, making clear that I was not interested and especially that I didn't want to go out without my girlfriend.
When her internship ended, Mary moved to a different city. At that point she started to text me daily about how she was unhappy there, how hard it was to make now friends and how much she missed our city. I was not really interested in hearing her complaints or be friends with her but I felt bad for her and tried to be friendly and let her vent.
A few week passed and I had to go to a professional one-day event in a town quite close to the city where she had moved and unfortunately I told her about it. She self-invited herself again and spent all the time there with me. I was even a bit annoyed by her behavior at this point.
When going back to my home city in the night Mary started texting me about how wonderful had been spending the day together and how in her opinion we would make a great couple. At this point I answered very explicitly that I didn't feel in the same way and that I was in love with my girlfriend. She got extremely angry, telling me that I deceived her into thinking I was interested in her.
At this point we arrive to the current situation. Mary texts me 2/3 times a week telling me that she loves me and wants to be with me. I tell her that I'm not interested. She gets angry and invents a new hypothesis to explain why I behaved like that (deceiving her and all). At the moment her best hypothesis are:
- I tried to take revenge on her because she left me years ago
- I tried to make her suffer just because I am a sadist
- I tried to turn her into my lover
- I tried to keep her as a "spare tire" in case I break up with my girlfriend
- I am in love with her but I'm just a coward and don't want to leave my girlfriend
- I am in love with her but I can't understand it because I'm stupid
- I am just plain stupid and I don't understand that my behavior is a an obvious give away that I'm interested and now I have to give her a chance
Of course there are many many more. If I give her an explanation of why her hypothesis are not true she seems to understand and accept the explanation just to repeat the same pattern and accusations a few days later.
Of course this kind of behavior gets old very quickly so I got more and more exasperated at the point of telling her that I don't want to hear her anymore and that I want her to stop texting me. One day she felt so angry that she insulted me and deleted my number.
The following day I was away from my office and my coworkers told me that somebody was insistently calling my number. I immediately messaged her asking if it was her and she confirmed that she was trying to reach me (or someone who knows me) to get my number back. Now I made very clear to her that I don't want her to call me back at my workplace or to text me anymore on my personal phone but she still reaches out to me twice a week to say how sorry she is and that she just wants to be friends and there may be a great future together. If I try to make her understand that her behavior is completely unacceptable her answer is that "a girl in love has a right for happiness" or something along these lines.
I also tried not answering her messages any more but in that case what she does is calling me non-stop, sometimes even for hours.
The situation is become exhausting.
What I want now is to be left alone by this person. I don't want to get the police/law involved both because she has not be so aggressive and also because I don't want to risk ruining her life just because maybe it's a difficult moment for her. At the same time I'm not really sure about what else I can do now.
How do I get her to stop this madness and leave me alone? Best case scenario I would like to make her "calm down", because I don't want to hear her screaming at me if I were to meet her in the street or somewhere else, is there something I can say or do to achieve this result?