I'm male, in my twenties and my definition of friendship is extremely strict. In fact, my friends are what most people would consider their "best friends". As such, I have very few of them. I think I'm making a new friend. However, something recently happened that made me think that perhaps I was mistaken and we're not friends at all.
The specific thing that happened was them suddenly making travel plans with other people after they promised they would do something with me. What they did hurt quite a bit because our trip was dismissed in the same way as a co-worker would dismiss a lunch. It made me feel like I wasn't important, that I'm not considered their friend and it made me feel like they didn't really want to go on a trip with me anyway and were just lying until something better came along.
They've done something that I'd never do to someone I consider a friend, but they might not think it's that big of a deal. I feel offended/defensive because I would have discussed the situation with the person I already had plans with, even if they weren't concrete. Something like "hey, some of my friends invited me to X and we booked it, so let's postpone our plans to Y".
I'd like to figure out what happened here, whether this person considers themselves my friend to my standard or not. Whether they think it's okay to do this kind of stuff to me, so that I can take it into account in the future. But I'm kind of worried that if I bring this up to and they're just considering me an acquaintance instead of a friend, it'll be useless and awkward. It feels kind of awkward to say to an acquaintance "hey that really hurt", but I wouldn't hesitate to that if they're my friend. So, I'd rather not disclose my feelings on the matter
I'm also worried they might say I'm being too sensitive, or that it's not a big deal. They might think they did nothing wrong and they would be right if they also don't consider me a friend. It might make things awkward or make me seem needy. I just dislike fakeness and would like to avoid it in the future.
I also feel like it should have been something I should have approached in the moment. (It happened yesterday.) Now that it's gone, it might be awkward to bring it up again because I would be making a big deal out of something that's already done and over with. Ideally, I would acknowledge that without making it awkward.
I would like to try to find a way that I can approach them about it in a non-judgmental way which won't make them be defensive about it. Hopefully, I'd get an apology and a bit more consideration in the future, or a clarification that I should treat future plans the same as the already mentioned "co-worker lunch".
How can I approach this person about what they did to me, and find out what happened?