I recently moved into a shared home where my landlord is one of the roommates. Shortly after her husband passed away. Understandably she’s been upset and stressed. Also I was told it was the husband who generally took care of things around the house, like repairs. She had been staying with family for a bit but now is back. During her time away her son dropped by and told me to contact him if there are any issues. I told him the Wi-Fi hasn’t been working properly (I tried fixing it myself and called the ISP but they don’t speak to someone not on the account). The son replied his mom is under too much stress right now to deal with it, which I get.
My question is how long should I wait, or how can I tell if she’s ready to be informed of some of my concerns regarding the rental? I have a lot of trouble knowing when and how to “cut someone slack”. For example the past two days there have been renovations/cleaning/redecorating which I hadn’t been informed of and I couldn’t use several parts of the house and even in my room it was very noisy. I would like to have the conversation with the landlord that I expect advance notice when things like this are happening but not sure if now is the right time given her husband's passing (I actually mentioned I didn’t know this was happening and they said “it wasn’t supposed to happen today”). Also, it’s insignificant as I never watch it but during the renovations the TV has been removed and it’s technically in my lease. I don’t want to nitpick, especially given the circumstances, but things like this make me concerned they aren’t taking the rental agreement seriously.
Another factor making things difficult is the landlord is almost always surrounded by guests/friends/family when she is at home. I don’t really think it’s appropriate discussing these things in front of them and when I tried in the past they butted in and interrupted. Would it be impersonal to just start using email even though I literally live with the landlord?