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I just met a girl through a friend and so far, we haven't stopped talking not even for a second. Even though I'm really excited, she is friendly with everyone. Like really friendly.

To understand a little bit better: We know each other for like 5 days, and we're into skype until 2AM everyday so far. She lives 200km away from me, which is no problem for me at all.

I feel like we can talk about anything at anytime and just feel too good about it. We often talk about our religion which is the same, about our days, about childhood, about our feelings, like really everything. Whenever I say something romantic, she giggles or even return it to me, with rare cases of her just letting it go. I had no idea that I could fall in this quickly.

How can I stop acting like I'm too excited?
Or even better, how to deal with situations like this?

I really don't want to sound I'm moving forward at full speed, knowing that she can be friends with lots of people.

  • Could you add some broad topics to indicate what you are talking about? There is a huge difference between small talk, news of the day and personal feelings, for example. Are you both on the same page? – user3169 Aug 17 '17 at 22:43
  • @user3169 Sorry for being late! Just added the information you requested – Andre Aquiles Aug 18 '17 at 11:31
  • So you have never met in person? – user3169 Aug 18 '17 at 17:18
  • We met in person for a brief moment (when our mutual friend presented us) but just "really" got to talk later @user3169 – Andre Aquiles Aug 18 '17 at 18:57
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I have a tendency to believe when you are a great fit, none of the "rules" will even matter. When I met my husband I just felt different. I have been in love before etc, but the draw to him was so much more intense faster than I had ever felt it. He was very, very interested in me, and all that did was make it harder for me to try to use my normally more cautious approach in dating.

That said, yes, you can come on too strong, seem too available, etc. That is for "fun" dating, people you enjoy being around but have no likely long term future with. In those cases, there is definite etiquette that likely needs to be adhered to in order to make it work for whatever time it works. I do believe after watching many people fall in love though that when it's real, the rules & etiquette often don't mean anything. Some people for sure fall in love slowly, are friends first, etc. Many people though fall in love within a pretty short time of meeting and fall very very hard. I did. I have never once been sorry for that. We have a good life. I would never recommend rushing into marriage, kids, those types of things, but love is nothing I would ever hold back on. It's too awesome when it's right to worry about being wrong because you like someone "too much". As long as you respect what they say, like if they say, "Call me on Tuesday," then wait until Tuesday. I am not condoning becoming some stalker. I am simply saying if the other person gives no indication you are crowding them, then I wouldn't worry about it. If they do, then reign yourself in & respect that.

  • 3
    It seems like we are both trying to hold on, trying to use our rational thinking besides our feelings, with not much success. About the conversation stuff, we haven't stopped talking so far. Like every free time we both have we are on video calls. Man, I'm so in love. Kinda cool that feeling, has been a long time I haven't felt this way. – Andre Aquiles Aug 18 '17 at 14:36
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  1. Remember to breathe.
  2. Enjoy the feeling -- that's awesome.
  3. Remember that you don't really know her yet. Use the excitement you feel as motivation to get to know who she really is.
  4. As you enjoy the feeling and get to know her, don't lose sight of who you are and what is important to you. Don't just focus on seeking her approval.

The best romances are built on feeling that the other person truly knows you and loves who you are. As you get to know her, you may realize that you don't like her as much as you thought or that you still do. Both are good things to find out.

5

One thing to do is to remember that an easy way to lose a girl is to show too much interest, too soon.

There are a number of reasons. The one that is most often cited is that you could look "creepy" or "needy."

But another reason is that if you fall, too hard, too fast, you quickly become "old news" and not a challenge; to use a plain word, "boring."

Most men don't want an "easy" woman, and many women feel the same way about a man.

Your instinct is correct: "I really don't want to sound [like] I'm moving forward at full speed." But that's only partly because you don't want someone that's overly friendly or familiar. An equally important issue is that at some level, she may believe the same.

2
  • Have many options. This keeps you excited but not too excited for 1 person. Meet many girls and talk to many girls at the same time.
  • Stop 'saying something romantic'. Ask her out. Like a man. You want her to know that that you're romantically interested in her and you want her to know that you're man enough to be straight with her. If she's not interested, move on. (Having many options here helps)
  • Don't overthink. Just act.
  • Have fun. Enjoy yourself and enjoy being with somebody you like.
  • Remember that you are not passing a test here. You're also trying to see if she passes your tests.

I'll say it again. Don't see being with her or talking with her as you being tested. Just have fun!

  • I'm having fun mate. Also, we just haven't gone out yet because we don't live that close. Gonna do it soon btw. I agree with you with the "just have fun", the only thing that is really weird is that I've never experienced such a great fit with someone. I don't want to screw everything up. Which in my past experiences, is something that I would do. – Andre Aquiles Aug 18 '17 at 12:28
  • @AndréSousa My advice...don't remind yourself that you have never experienced something similar. See her as just another girl and have in your mind that there are lots of other girls that fit as great. It will make you relax because now you are putting her on a pedestal. Relax dude. Have fun and everything will go fine. :) – papakias Aug 18 '17 at 12:33
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Created a sock account to comment on this, in case this offends some people. See my supporting links in the comments.

Frankly, most women in the western world find are attracted to emotional strength. They also expect men to not be emotionally expressive, simply because that's how most men are. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I've heard that this is even more prominent in Latin America.

I've been this way myself, and have lost the girl. It's good to be excited, but not good to be overly into someone. I'm not saying you're behaving that way, just to be aware of your behavior. Google this, there's a lot of good articles on this topic written for men. I included a link to one in my comment below.

Above all, don't forget about your wants outside of the relationship.

It goes without saying, don't treat women (or anyone) disrespectfully. Kindness is attractive

Supporting links:

  • I feel like this is very dependent on the generation and culture in question. While baby boomers and people around that age range may be very into conforming to strict gender roles such as "men must be aloof and non-emotional", with younger people in western cultures (I am unfamiliar with latin america so I can't speak for that) that is far less important. – Pyritie Oct 12 '17 at 9:49
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I say go with it! It's not everyday that you meet someone that you can talk about anything with and it comes naturally easily and happily. Although I do agree to some degree that making oneself too available can sometimes backfire, I would have to say that if a girl is flying along with you in conversation as she clearly is, this may not apply. The not readily available approach is more appropriate to when you have a more guarded start to the relationship.

And whether it is unique to your relationship or to all of her relationships with everyone she knows, I wouldn't discount the potential for the uniqueness of her feelings toward you just yet. It's very possible that a person can be a social butterfly but still very much so regard a particular person very differently inside.

It's such a treat to meet someone who you immediately fall into hours of engaging with right off the bat. Honestly in my experience this is the first sign of all the greatest, longest, and best relationships in my life. No need to hide your interest. Just enjoy the time you have with her.

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