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I lost many of my friendships when I completed my high school and joined college.

It happened more than 4 years ago. Now I would like to continue the friendship with few friends (say 2 to 3).

I have their mobile number as well as whatsapp number.

What should be the first step I have to take?

Calling or messaging? Also how to handle the situation?

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  • Did you simply lose touch the friends you want to reconnect with - or were there previous issues?
    – Robert Dewitt
    Commented Jun 27, 2017 at 19:04
  • no issues. Since we finished school, each one went to different colleges and in that life, I am not able to maintain it
    – Sagar VD
    Commented Jun 27, 2017 at 19:10
  • 1
    What country? Do you live in the same city as them?
    – nic
    Commented Jun 28, 2017 at 3:25
  • 1
    Could you add a country tag to this question, and edit this question and add some information about the cultural context? The answer to this question will depend on your cultural context.
    – user288
    Commented Aug 4, 2017 at 14:22
  • 1
    "Hey, how you been?"
    – Erik Reppen
    Commented Nov 13, 2017 at 4:20

2 Answers 2

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I'd say message instead of calling, so that they can respond at their leisure rather than being 'put on the spot' so to speak. (But I personally dislike talking on the phone, so I'm definitely biased here.)

Just drop them a casual message, something like:

Hey [name], how are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages! Want to meet up some time and do some catching up?

  • If they don't respond, you can probably assume they're not interested in hanging out with you any more. (Unless they've always been forgetful and prone to not responding to messages, in which case you could try another time or two.)

  • If you do meet up with them and hang out for a bit, just see how it goes. If you both still enjoy spending time together and feel like you get on well, then it's worth trying to continue the friendship properly. As you part, say something like

    It's been great to see you again! Let's do this again some time.

    If it feels awkward or like you've lost whatever bond you used to have, then it might not be worth trying to continue the friendship, unless you had a really close bond before which you feel you can reignite (sorry for the mixed metaphor). You could then say something like:

    It's been good to see you again - let's keep in touch.

    That way you don't commit to spending more time with them, but you're still being polite and keeping your options open (and not offending them if they're still keen to hang out with you).

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I would give them a message on WhatsApp (or your app of choice) - and handle the situation like this:

Hey [name of friend], what's going on? It's been a while! Do you have time to grab lunch or coffee? I would like to catch up with you!

But of course, this all depends on your past relationship with the person you want to reconnect with.

In your situation - I would change the above approach to something like:

Hey there! [or the opening you're comfortable with]

It's been awhile! How is school going for you? Would you like to get lunch sometime? I have so much to tell you and catch up on!

And you would give a short snippet into how things were going in your life between then and now.

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