I'm a 22 year old male who had quite a rough past, however I will stick to what I think is important for the question. Currently I'm still a student.
When I was 16 I stopped going to my dad and seeing him altogether (still the case now). This was a huge event, I was mentally abused there. To be more specific: my brothers were physically abused from time to time by my stepmother. She has issues with anger management. While this is very bad, my father never acknowledged it and even denied that it was the case. The anger problems were never physical towards me, however the pressure was always present because of this.
My mother helped me get out of this situation and provided help when necessary. However she now tends to worry a lot for me, which makes sense considering what happened in the past. While she is not opposed to me going to a psychiatrist and my father, it will probably worry her very much.
Event and result
A few months ago my sister got engaged. While this is a happy event and I'm very glad that it is going to happen (she found a great man), this also correlates to something else. Going to see my father again after not speaking to him for 6 years. Because of this I think it is smart for me to go to an expert so I'm able to handle it well.
My sister currently has had contact with my father for ~1 year. I think it is safe to assume that my sister wants to get my father involved in the wedding. I did not discuss this with my sister.
It is not possible to not discuss this, because it will get out eventually.
I do not know specifically what would worry my mother (however that is a good point to address while discussing it with her). I do know she tends to get worried quite fast. She will probably worry the most about the impact the events will have on me.
Note that I think it is the best course of action because it will be mentally heavy to see my father again. Not going to see my father is not an option, because I want him to be able to walk my sister to the altar.
I plan to visit the therapist and my father alone, because I think that is important.
- How to discuss going seeing my father without worrying her?
- How to discuss going to a therapist with my mom without worrying her?