My son-in-law wants nothing to do with my family and I'd really like to change that and have him as part of the family.
Some background information about how we got here is needed, my daughter met him when she was 18 and he was 17, they quickly fell in love and were inseparable. At the time however he was addicted to methamphetamine and god knows what else, he had left home at 15 and was rumored to be involved in gangs, needless to say my family were not impressed and actively tried to break them up over the next 7 years, it was really quite bad what they would say and do but they always thought they knew best. I never joined in with this as I knew him as a very kind and gentle person who would do anything for my daughter but had taken a bad path early in life, I always thought he might just figure it out.
He knew about all of the things my family had done and said to get rid of him, he not surprisingly avoided us at all costs. Eventually he found his way off the drugs and out of trouble, got into software development and today is extremely successful, running his own business and providing a life that I couldn't have even imagined for my daughter. He's 29 now, they have been married for two years and the family now approves of him, but now whenever we invite them to a family event he never shows up (he always encourages my daughter to go) unless it's Christmas in which case he will show up but he's extremely distant yet very polite, he shows no animosity towards us but he will not initiate conversation, he'll answer questions but that's pretty much the end of it.
I find him to be quite an inspirational figure finding his way out of that darkness with only himself and my daughter, I'd like him to spend more time with our family as I feel he would be a good role model for the younger ones in the family and to be honest I really like him and would like to have him around more. I have no idea how to approach this though, it's hard to find a way to bring it up as he always so polite and has apparently has never said a bad word about us so it feels strange asking him to not "hate" us. Any help would be greatly appreciated.