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199

Either as an alternative or in addition to the other good suggestions, you can try phrasing the difference as something like: Can you do me an Italian-style espresso? Like, shorter and stronger than a usual Russian-style one? This way, you avoid presenting it as “Your espresso is wrong, here’s the right way,” which may make the barista feel attacked and ...


54

Life is about setting priorities, and while it's common for people to say that you should spend "all your time" with your family, the truth is that for many people that just doesn't work. Lots of people need some alone time, and they should take it because otherwise they'll just spend time being frustrated with their family. (Which is, technically, spending ...


37

Since I'm from Ukraine, the Russians are quite similar in offering food to guests. Ukrainians are even more persistent. For me, when I visiting someone, especially grannies, and I don't want to eat there, there is no special way to say it. I'd say it this way: Thank you greatly for your hospitality, it’s surely very tasty, but I am not really hungry/in ...


32

You could ask: Tell me about your espresso. Do you make it the very small and strong way, or a whole big cup? If they say "small and strong" or ask you what you want, you're good. If they say "big cup" you can order something else.


24

The exact definition of coffee drinks heavily varies across countries. I heard stories of Austrians and Germans ordering a coffee in Italy and being disappointed at getting an Espresso. Seems they expected a 200ml mug of black or a Macchiato. You could ask whether they make Ristretto. Depending on where you are, chances are it will turn out exactly as an ...


20

I am an American with multiple friends in Israel. I have been on the other side of this debate a great many times (actually almost got kicked out of a VERY nice hotel in Jerusalem for ordering non-kosher pizza while visiting) ... here is my take: Do NOT lie Saying you are not hungry, or you don't feel good, or any other excuse is lying ... which is also ...


15

Maybe you could pretend that you forgot the name of it when ordering: Could I have a very short and strong coffee .. hum.. sorry I always forget the name of it! And if he doesn’t guess it, you can conclude with  Ah yes, an espresso please Then you give an explanation in a way they don’t feel like you teach them a lesson, actually it’s the opposite: ...


10

The tough truth is that you have to change your lifestyle now. To what extent and how - is your decision and depends on the sort of work you do. But you always can to involve your child into your hobbies and make it beneficial for both of you. This way you'll spend more time with your child and keep doing what you like. Think about you and your family, not ...


10

I don't think what you are looking for is the most inoffensive way to order because this might skirt around the details and fail to communicate the point. I think you are looking for the briefest, quickest way to convey the details of what you want. The briefest explanation should convey what you mean to a less-well-informed barista, but not make a more ...


9

That’s not an easy one since, as it’s already been said, most Russian hosts could be very persistent in offering you food even on a casual visit, more so if it is some meaningful event like a birthday. I googled this question in Russian and actually most popular etiquette suggestions were to put at least something at your plate and make an impression that ...


8

As a parent, this does strike me as not sounding like you understand how to give your child the basic needs. Providing food and clothing and lights is not enough. Children need to be loved. They need to know you care about them. They do need to be more important than the things you like to do. It doesn't mean you give up everything. Of course you don't ...


7

I don't know what's going on with your dad, how new this is, if there are any other stressors in his life. It may be that your adulthood and impending independence is a threat to him. After all, he's always been your father and he's used to you needing him/his counsel/etc. If nothing has changed, and nothing you've tried calms him down, you need to set a ...


7

TL;DR: Given there is a risk of being thrown into a mental asylum, I think you may have to be a bit harsh. Explanation: Let's get this clear. You have clinical depression. While it is hard to understand, the best and easiest thing to do is to give you your space. Let you be a little bit on your own, give you time. Room to breathe, if you will. It is horrible ...


6

You could play dumb. "Do you serve the italian style coffee, small cup, very bitter, only just covers the bottom of the cup? Forgot what they call it?" This way you state what you need, appear to be ignorant of its name, and leave it open to them to educate you, while you are actually doing the opposite. I do like the other options as well, the dumb ...


6

Russian-Israeli here. Refusing an offer of food is complicated. Elderly Russians feel absolutely compelled to feed a guest. If you refuse, they'll offer again five minutes later, hoping that maybe you're hungry now. Hospitality is really important in Russian culture, and food is how you offer hospitality. If you're visiting a person once, and not likely to ...


6

Your question doesn't provide much information. I got that you are the working parent and that your wife pressure you to spend more time with your child, but don't how much you already spend with her, or even if she wants you to do specific things or just spending time with here whatever you are doing in particular. However, you are way more precise about ...


5

I think I can provide a different point of view here. The kid's view. I come from completely broken family. My parents divorced when I was ~20 after more or less 10 years of constant bickering, fighting, arguing and 'silent days' which were more like silent weeks/months. I am ~30 now, and while I more or less recovered from most of the damage and pushed my ...


5

I'm Russian and speaking from experience here. Meeting for breakfast or lunch is used not only for dating but also for business people. So your language practice meeting may fall into the "business" area. I think there is no way to be really sure about her intentions, but at least you can make your intentions clear. (if you ask such a question, then have ...


4

My go-to approach when dealing with bizarre beliefs like that is to simply ask "Why?" See also this wiki article for some more info. In my experience, going straight to disproving their belief will often be perceived (by them!) as some sort of aggression (trying to take away their opinion, trying to make them look / feel stupid), which in turn often makes ...


4

Older Russians are often overbearing in their hospitality and would annoy you with multiple offerings to partake a dish. Reminds me of a funny phrase from "Oblomov" (1858) by Ivan Goncharov: Local manners required that, what though twice or thrice invited to partake of a given dish or a given bottle of wine, the guest should not do so, since he was ...


4

Please note that this is an answer from a Dutch point of view. We Dutch people can be relatively blunt. For us, blunt is good. It's clear what a person's intentions are. Prevention: Just keep walking, don't make eye contact. Usually it takes some kind of contact like that for someone to start interacting. Answer: There are plenty of options to quickly end ...


4

Romanian perspective, as I feel we are culturally closer I've had quite a handful of unsolicited advice regarding my son when he was a baby. My first advice would be not to be afraid to offend people, especially when they've already offended you by implying you are not taking proper care of your child. They do believe they're providing valuable help, but ...


4

It is a good strategy to try to be diplomatic even when faced with offers that are borderline offensive. It is also a good economic strategy to avoid entering into an offer-counteroffer situation if you think the first offer is way too low. (It creates an Anchor) - The anchor creates a psychological bias that can make the outcome of a negotiation end up ...


4

Moreover, such responses sound as if Tania wanted to get as much as she can get rather than reach a fair deal. Value of things are always in the eye of the beholder. When you face an offer for a good, how honest is the offer is only about how desirable it is to make a deal given the information you have. What this value have for the buyer, is very secondary....


3

What will sometimes work is to ask for something else. The best thing is something which you know you can have, and which is quite certain to be available. The easiest thing is a glass of water. Or a cup of tea. Thank you, but I really cannot eat that much right now. Could I just have a glass of water/cup of tea, please? The reason why this can work is ...


3

The key word describing an espresso is small. I suggest you use that word when you order, and perhaps reinforce the idea with sign language, showing with your hands exactly how small you want it to be: If you see espresso cups you can also point at them when ordering. You'll still get your cup filled, but it will be about the right amount of coffee.


3

You can start the ordering conversation by asking how they make the espresso here. They'll probably be just as familiar as you are with the big 150mL Russian "espresso", either because they make it that way or because they know that many places do. There, you just started a conversation. Now you can ask them how big their "shots" are (or whatever expression ...


3

Is this common in Russia as a first meeting Yes, it's quite common. And not only as of the first meeting. Coffee shops are often seen as a "neutral territory" to meet at. Some people use them for small business meetings (like passing a document or drafting something), students may come over to copy each other's homework. Personally I have a few old friends ...


2

Before you order, ask the barista how many ounces (or milliliters) are in their espressos. If they respond with a number higher than you expect or point to a large coffee cup, you can ask them for a custom order. If they know how to make espressos properly, they may assume that you think that espressos come in different sizes or that you have never had an ...


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