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Questions about having conversations with other people, and how to achieve certain things when having them. This can be covering (or avoiding) certain topics, starting them, keeping them going or bringing them to a close.

6 votes

What am I doing wrong if people repeat their original offers and requests despite me declini...

Not everything in life is a negotiation. Not every time that I ask you for something am I willing to ask differently, or turn my "please give me X" into a "please trade me X if I give you Y" offering. …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
1 vote

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

I have a friend who speaks very loudly, especially when she's having a good time. I don't try to change her, and I don't worry that she's causing anyone damage by just happening to have a louder set p …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
4 votes

How to handle someone who repeatedly returns to previously-discussed points in conversations?

I have some people like this in my personal life and I handle it by using the accoutrements of a business meeting. Chief among these is some sort of shared document. It might be a google doc you can b …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
4 votes
Accepted

How to interpret and respond to people who belittle themselves?

Actually, "I tried to program and I can't" is not destroying themselves. It's at most a mild put-down of themselves, though that is not how they intend it. What they are trying to say is "I am pretty …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
6 votes

How to talk about my life without showing off?

This is difficult, for sure. Almost anything that is good in your life can be seen as bragging, especially if someone is already feeling jealous of you or feeling that you are showing off regularly. B …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
-1 votes

How can I prevent my girlfriend from promising things out of obligation?

First, at the moment that she states an intention to do something with you in the future, you need to ask her questions. This applies whether you suggest something and she says yes, or whether she sug …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
2 votes

How to debate with someone who uses other people's arguments as their own?

If your goal is actually to debate and discuss these topics, tell your brother: I don't want to discuss this with [YouTuber Name], I wanted to discuss it with you. What do you think about it? Also, …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
5 votes

How to avoid conflict when telling your SO that you are going to start searching for work in...

First, a small frame challenge. You can move together even if you're not married. Just as you can get a job in that other country, so can she. It could be a fun adventure together in which you both wo …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
7 votes

Can't get through to someone who needs help

First, understand that the job of being a therapist, helping a depressed person feel better, and ensuring they don't kill themselves, is one that takes years of study and training. It's not something …
Community's user avatar
  • 1
33 votes
Accepted

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interes...

I was taught this as part of my training to be at a conference on behalf of the conference organizers. Talking to people is part of the job, and in fact standing at a booth for people to come and talk …
Community's user avatar
  • 1
8 votes

How can I talk about positive circumstances in my life without hurting coworkers who are in ...

I have been on both sides of this: struggling while others are doing very well on the particular things I'm struggling on, and doing very well around people who are struggling with that thing. Some ti …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
3 votes

How to decline giving details about my previous doctor's opinion when transitioning between ...

I have been referred back and forth between doctors many times. They generally send each other letters (I get copies of these but that of course varies between geography). If your new doctor asks you …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
3 votes

How do you ask friends not to be so hard on you?

I think bringing it up after the fact is likely to lead to an argument where they say they were trying to help, or it wasn't that bad, or you were asking for their advice, or other justifications for …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
16 votes
Accepted

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

You don't know what Leon is thinking, of course. But I can pretty much guarantee he isn't thinking about you at all. He's going through a lot right now. He lost a friend to suicide. Some people may ha …
A J's user avatar
  • 7,710
16 votes
Accepted

How to tell a stranger that the way I wish to educate my child is none of his/her business?

The real audience for anything you say is your child and your own self. These are strangers: engaging in any kind of argument with them only sends the message that teaching your child is a topic on wh …
Kate Gregory's user avatar

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