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Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

160 votes
Accepted

How do I gently reject an indecent proposal?

I think you handled it perfectly. First, a long silence. This is the best way to indicate to someone that their joke, suggestion, comment or whatnot is over some sort of line and not ok. Second, a jok …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
123 votes
Accepted

How to tell someone to be quiet immediately while listening to an announcement?

In this context, I prefer Hang on Unlike shh, it clearly conveys a sense of temporariness. Not "don't talk" but "don't talk right now". It's also not something adults say to children (eg teacher …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
115 votes
Accepted

How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?

My dentist handles this by handing people slippers as they arrive on rainy days. I think you can adapt the technique quite well. Get a variety of soft loose slippers with nonslip soles somewhere inexp …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
79 votes

Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it

If your mother is actually saying soulmate out loud with her mouth, and not man, how about taking her at face value? You can go several ways with it. You could argue that you don't need a partner to b …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
75 votes
Accepted

How to deal with an annoying front passenger?

I faced this with someone my own age who, no matter how much we discussed this, could not be a polite passenger. We're talking bracing yourself against the dashboard as we go around a corner, mashing …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
70 votes
Accepted

How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?

I disagree with those who claim it is immature or otherwise wrong for her to object to you telling her to do it. You're not her parent or manager. The two of you are partners. You want to work togethe …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
47 votes

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her...

If I understand correctly, your issue is you being in Jane's house (with or without your children, for any length of time at all) if your wife is not in your house or otherwise nearby. I am not sure w …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
33 votes
Accepted

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interes...

I was taught this as part of my training to be at a conference on behalf of the conference organizers. Talking to people is part of the job, and in fact standing at a booth for people to come and talk …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
28 votes
Accepted

How can I use a cell phone at work for work purposes without appearing to be slacking off?

If you are with other people when you choose to do something on your phone, simply excuse yourself to them: Since we have a few moments here, I think I'll update the case notes on this situation …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
20 votes

Gracefully exiting a conversation with a needy person

My general approach is to say "it's been really great talking to you" or "catching up" or "hearing all about this". I do NOT then add ", but I have to go now." I just say that part and pause. Most of …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
18 votes

How can I talk to my brother about spanking his child?

Some facts: you don't know how often or under what circumstances your brother spanks his child. You think it's important to tell him not to. you don't have children or parenting experience Your part …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
18 votes

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

First, you need to think very carefully about the logic you intend to use. For example "I think it's dirty and unhygienic so I don't want it in my bedroom but you all should be fine with it being in t …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
16 votes
Accepted

How to refer to someone by name in an online community?

You are never going to be wrong calling someone by their full username (including punctuation, numbers, and such). There are a few places where it is safe to use less of the name: the person has a c …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
15 votes

How to effectively communicate technical data/instructions without writing "too long" emails?

A short email is harder to write than a long one. People are telling you to take the time and put in the effort to write a short one. Let's say you're writing an email about how to boil an egg. In so …
Kate Gregory's user avatar
11 votes
Accepted

How to gracefully accept an implied/indirect compliment?

I have had great success with I'll take that as a compliment Followed by a grin that suggests perhaps I'm being a little cheeky in taking a compliment where it might not have been intended. Pe …
Kate Gregory's user avatar

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