319

There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is only sitting at the cash point? I would strongly advise you do neither of these things. But what is your advice? Should I just hope that I will meet her after work at the parking area? And I'd even more ...


148

I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is completely normal, typical and acceptable to engage in conversation with shopkeepers. Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the ...


128

Pester them with service Continuously come up to them and ask them if they need anything else. You'll either make more sales (good!) or (hopefully) they'll get the hint that your space and tables are for active customers. You will also come off as friendly and a good host if you do this well. It's mostly an observation on what I see happen where I live. I ...


90

You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. Meaning; talking to her each time you go shopping, exchanging some humor and eventually get to know her name. That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an ...


83

Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually signals and not them just doing their job. Ask yourself how well you actually know them. Have you had a conversation about anything that isn't related to their work? The checkout line isn't the place to have real ...


56

Politeness makes it hard to tell them to do anything. However, brains are weird, and you may have far better success regretting to inform them of something you have to do, and the consequences for them of that obligation. However, the thing you have to do must be chosen carefully. Not that you need to leave for a moment, or that you need to go and do a thing....


47

A simple "Danke, ich bin nur am schauen" or "Ich schau nur, danke" (Thanks, just looking) should suffice. This tells them you're just looking, and most will not bother you after. You could add "Ich melde mich" to tell them you'll be the one initiating if you need anything.


37

Your interaction with the cashier is constrained by work rules (she has to be nice to you) and also social norms. The degrees of freedom available to signify attraction are few. Also, ten creeps have delivered sleazy pickup lines to her since this morning, you don't need to be the next one. It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving ...


27

I'll omit the shpeel about how to escalate the matter, since that has been covered in other answers. You can certainly do that, but if she threatens to call security as a threat and the individual calls her bluff and no one comes to escort them out, that's only going to make them feel more powerful. I would only flaunt security threats if they can be ...


23

The very first comment got it right: Some people just enjoy flirting. That's probably the extent of it for some people. – curiousdannii It is simply a 'feel good' activity and apparently circulates certain feel-good hormones or something. It is also usually fairly harmless because the persons are not taking it very seriously anyway. According to this ...


23

I suspect answers can be highly different depending on the cultural context. For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable to engage in small talk with the cashier. I expect it to be more difficult in a big supermarket than in a small shop, but I wouldn't label this behaviour as non respectful. You can try going to the supermarket ...


21

Asking her out directly seems like a bad idea. Instead, in these situations, I've found something that works much better for both of you. During your conversation with her, mention some place you're planning to be in the future so she can find you there if she chooses. For example: "I like to grab lunch here before going to [Public Event You Enjoy]" This ...


20

I experienced almost the exact same thing when I worked in a small shop some 26 years ago. Over the two years I worked in there on minimum wage there were a few 'customers' that would come in several times a week, ask stupid questions and then never buy anything. Only in my case it wasn't usually people of the opposite sex, and I concluded that they were ...


20

TL;DR: Your bad mood may have made the situation worse, but the personal question was definitely out of line. It's up to you how you handle such situations in the future, whether you choose to escalate or just tell off the employee and leave it at that. I was very angry and stressed for other reasons. I've worked retail as my main job for a while, and ...


19

Places where I have worked are zero tolerance for this, and wording such as "You are no longer welcome here. Leave now before I call security" would be much firmer. Yes, it is escalation, but it gives a very direct message. Your workplace may have to decide where the line is, and below that you can provide a customer service appropriate way to respond, but ...


18

There isn’t much the cashier could have done in that situation. They were probably following instructions to keep the tone positive instead of saying something like, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” It’s also unlikely that extended interaction with the cashier would help with your next meeting. Further, it doesn’t sound like the cashier’s fault that the previous ...


17

The customer isn't always right. Especially on "wild" nights, customers can be highly annoying, they can easily make mistakes, and they try to screw you over (deliberately). If a customer says that the food is too salty or undercooked; he is right. If he adamantly claims he gave you a 20, doublecheck. Just a hint for next time (coming from an ex-waiter): ...


15

The Answer: Consultancy. I haven't sold jewelry, but I've sold six and seven figure gigs. This is a good approach for people uncomfortable with flattery and "persuasion" or glad-handing or cajoling or becoming "friends" with a customer, people uncomfortable with lying about discounts and one-time offers that aren't really one-time. People that aren't good ...


11

I would dispute the comment saying that it is opinion based. It is something that was offered to you, and if you want to do it then go for it. It is not rude, and no organisation putting on any event has any expectations that it's attendees will go into business with them. Usually these types of events whether it is for cars or otherwise are about ...


10

You specifically ask if there are psychological techniques you can use to move them on 'without pretending to need leave store myself'. If that is the avenue you want to pursue rather than having a straight conversation with them, then you should try to identify the qualities of your gelateria which currently make them feel comfortable to stay for so long. ...


9

I generally agree that it is usually best not to ask people out at work. However, it has happened from time-to-time. Having been on the receiving end, I can tell you I've always found it awkward and uncomfortable when someone has asked me out as opposed to leaving a note for me to choose to respond or not respond privately. Another option you may consider ...


8

Firstly, it is great that your friend realises that there are some cases where it is necessary to leave and seek the manager/police. However, for the times that she would choose otherwise, I would say that telling the customer to stop that kind of behaviour is the appropriate customer service way to deal with this. Your concern about it feeling wrong for ...


8

My current strategy: If possible, wait for the clerk to talk first, and use that language (ignoring the いらっしゃいませ salutation that they use anytime the door opens). If I need to talk first, use Japanese. Only switch to English if necessary to safely/efficiently perform the transaction. Pros: Not all Japanese people have the same look. Some of my friends who ...


8

I'm going to leave this here, based on a comment you wrote underneath Mafii's answer: +1 .. I like this way, the problem I am new here and my german is not good yet, that is why I didn't think about something like that link If your German isn't that good yet, you are probably still struggling with your Basic Interpersonal Communicative Skills, BICS ...


7

I do what works. I am a pretty good read with people. With men, if I think it will garner me more expeditious response, then I will flirt if I think it will help. Other times I might be a raging jerk, and often I am just normal. It really depends on how I read it and typically I start with normal, as I need enough feedback to assess. I am not bothered I ...


7

Comments like this are more social lubricant than genuine expressions of sentiment. The natural response is similar, along the lines of "it's OK", as stated in the question. If you don't like the fact that the comment doesn't represent the truth, you can respond with something that is true but still anodyne: There wasn't much you could have done. or ...


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