339
votes
How to talk to a girl who's sitting next to me but wearing headphones?
You don't.
You're asking how to interrupt someone who's working with mostly-inconsequential personal matters. If someone did that to me, I'd be annoyed at their lack of situational awareness, and ...
- 2,507
224
votes
As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?
How about frequent changes of direction?
On foot, this can be done in a heartbeat.
But repeatedly turning the car around is gonna get old real quick ;)
This is a non-confrontational way to discourage ...
- 1,865
205
votes
Appropriate response when someone announces pregnancy?
When confronted with news that could either be good or bad, pick the response that is most common.
Pregnancies, even unplanned, are normally met with cheer in the US.
Congratulate them. That's just ...
- 5,045
194
votes
Accepted
How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?
I think your problem here is the word "luxury." Not only would the line flow just as well if you cut it out, but it's insinuating that the person emailing you isn't as busy as you are. It's probably ...
- 15.2k
192
votes
Accepted
Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?
Coming from my experience in receiving compliments from men I didn't know very well, I'd suggest focusing on complimenting the shirt vs complimenting the person wearing the shirt.
For instance, ...
- 22.7k
182
votes
How to significantly reduce my hairstylist's tip, without upsetting her?
Just don't
If you're paying $15 as a tip on a $55 hair cut, that's a total of $70 per haircut. You've flat out said other hairstylists are charging more than that for the same basic work. Except this ...
- 1,506
181
votes
Accepted
I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?
As the "computer person" among neighbors who are...not, I've dealt with this a few times. The person asking for your help does not want to be a freeloader and thus wants to compensate you; you do not ...
- 17.2k
176
votes
How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?
Spend some time (with your wife) getting to know Jane. Invite her and her kids over for dinner, or a Saturday lunch grill-out, or have your two families meet for bowling or something. It seems strange ...
- 1,361
168
votes
Accepted
How do I tell someone I recently met that I am in a relationship?
Undoubtedly you and Susan talk about things that are not related to work. Assume that the conversation goes on about a popular band that is touring. You could simply say:
Oh, I would love to take ...
- 1,544
168
votes
Accepted
How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?
I'm female, so I don't have a lot of the concerns you would have, necessarily... or a different set of concerns, but the solution I would personally accept if a guy moved in next door to me would be ...
- 14.2k
168
votes
Accepted
How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?
You talk about having a "fair [...] healthy relationship." I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that if you focus on every little thing that you've done and she hasn't, the relationship isn't ...
- 15.2k
163
votes
How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?
I am like your husband, and I am also an engineer. We are expected to fix things. It makes us happy because our brains are wired that way. Also we think that is what is expected from us when people ...
- 2,143
163
votes
Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?
Can you violate table manners in public? Of course you can. Everyone can. In fact until someone learns them it's likely that they will be unintentionally violating them.
Table manners are just ...
- 8,380
160
votes
Accepted
How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?
Keep this in mind: recruiters are salespeople. They get paid when positions get filled. They want to pursue potential opportunities and not go after something that won't work.
That said, showing ...
- 32.3k
160
votes
Accepted
How do I gently reject an indecent proposal?
I think you handled it perfectly. First, a long silence. This is the best way to indicate to someone that their joke, suggestion, comment or whatnot is over some sort of line and not ok. Second, a ...
- 45k
157
votes
I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly
I do not have divorced parents, but I have had to juggle situations where two co-workers that hated each other were using me. In the end, I found out that the simplest way to resolve the problem was ...
- 34k
147
votes
Accepted
How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?
My biggest concern with you addressing Jane is that she could take offense to the implication of her wanting to seduce you (presently or at a future time), so to avoid that I'd suggest saying ...
- 22.7k
144
votes
Accepted
How to tell friends something goes against my religion?
My religion prohibits me from being profane, how can I tell my friends to stop swearing so that I am not influenced by their actions?
You don't. You can't expect other people to follow your religion. ...
- 4,992
144
votes
Accepted
How do I respond when an acquaintance asks if I'm smart?
I am Indian and it's considered good etiquette here to receive a compliment with indirect modesty.
So I have tended to focus on the specific requirements or challenges of the job rather than my own ...
- 10.5k
139
votes
Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?
It sounds like you've been drawn into quite a mess and the timing couldn't have been worse, but to be blunt this probably isn't a problem you should have been tasked with solving. You've got enough on ...
- 54.9k
137
votes
How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?
You need to work on your written communication skills.
Being logical and factual has nothing to do with it. You're implying that you can't be logical and factual as well as tactful in your emails. ...
- 5,045
131
votes
Accepted
As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?
Judging from already available answers, this will be an unpopular suggestion, but here I go.
In my experience, the most sensible course of action is to not be confrontational at all, and 1. to query ...
129
votes
As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?
I think you handled the creeper appropriately, and yes "creeper" is an appropriate word to use in this case.
One thing I would suggest is to walk to the nearest friendly neighbor's house and ask for ...
- 54.9k
128
votes
Accepted
How to deal with (male) friends mocking me about my weight choices
Be clear and unassuming but very gradually escalate your responses.
First, explain in clear and certain terms why you're doing what you're doing, and how what they're doing makes you feel. Don't ...
- 4,118
126
votes
Accepted
How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?
The way I've dealt with this situation is to ask my server if I could be moved to a different table.
It's a little loud over here could we move to another table? Perhaps outside?
Approaching the ...
- 54.9k
123
votes
Accepted
How to tell someone to be quiet immediately while listening to an announcement?
In this context, I prefer
Hang on
Unlike shh, it clearly conveys a sense of temporariness. Not "don't talk" but "don't talk right now". It's also not something adults say to children (eg teachers, ...
- 45k
117
votes
Accepted
How to intervene in a random abuse/harassment situation?
In this specific situation I think you did the right thing.
Well, in most situations like these, the chances of a totally peaceable resolution are slim. People who go out looking for trouble are sure ...
- 54.9k
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