19
In my experience, though this does depends on both the area you live (the US is a big place) and the kind of establishment you are in.
I have most US experience on the west coast (and the mid west) so will give my perspective there.
In a casual or fast food place, this is generally fine, I would not hesitate to do this in say, a Subway, Costco or Burger ...
14
Be direct, but also casual, and make the invitation about the thing you want to do more than about doing that thing with her.
Platonic, casual, innocent invitations to friendly acquaintances do not mix well with intense thought and planning. Acting awkwardly, nervously, or making a big deal of the invitation or event will cut against the impression you want ...
10
Insights of the problem
I am Indian and I can confirm such behaviour.
The problem is, in most parts of India, we use bidet as opposed to the tissue papers. Also, even today, many homes have a hole-style toilets and not really the toilet with a seat. The person is habituated to squat instead of sitting on the toilet seat.
If the guy is from urban area, don'...
8
Ah, the good old "Norwegian Arm".
A little humor can defuse such situations, as well as a generally apologetic and unconfrontational temperament. I, since I am Norwegian, use the term "Norwegian Arm" when I am doing something that is slightly "invading" someones space like this.
The Norwegian Arm is reaching beyond someone to grab something, especially on ...
8
"Pardon me"
Or "pardon my reach" or "excuse me", said in a informative and non-accusative tone. This is the polite way to arrest any discomfort they may have. If they want to consider the entire soda machine their "personal space", you have graciously acknowledged that you entered it.
That is to say, you are explicitly not challenging their belief that ...
7
I don't think there is a standard etiquette which applies 100% of the time in all regions and all restaurants so here is my take on it.
If person A is at the Coca-Cola dispenser then person B should be able to comfortably use anything from Root Beer to Dr. Pepper; the person should probably come in at an angle to avoid any accidental nudging. I've had ...
7
I do personally feel most comfortable with just tackling these kinds of things (expectations I don't feel I can live up to) before the dinner in a truthful manner, but as you've ruled out telling Alice the true reason for not wanting to share: I'd like to introduce you and your friend to the wonderful concept of pro-social deception. These are lies that are ...
6
In my experience it can be tricky to give someone an outright "no" in situations like these. Bruised egos can cause no end of trouble in a volunteer-run event in my experience.
I would look for a face-saving way to keep them away from a role you think they're unsuited for. Is there some other task you can redirect them towards that they are more suited to?
...
4
"Thanks"
Unless there is a particular reason you don't want the complimenter to think you're so smart, this is enough to pretty much end the issue graciously.
This has indeed worked for me in the past - I have from time to time received compliments, and whenever I simply thanked the person for the compliment, that has been the end of it, though I have to ...
4
My first thought was to ask if you are a unicorn. The reason for that is as a female, I never meet any guys who are interesting in talking to me on a purely platonic basis. Even those who seem friendly from the outset suddenly become busy or unresponsive once dating is off the table. The single greatest barrier to making friends, to me, is the fact that ...
3
I would suggest you try NextDoor, to start with. In my neighborhood NextDoor has pretty good coverage because it is seen as very relevant to people in a specific geographic area.
Also, have you spoken to the local elementary schools? They know the benefits of computer literacy and usually have good pipelines for reaching parents.
You also might want to ...
2
This is an answer from a British person (so not wholly relevant just additional information for other people), but there is only 1 answer, you never ever ever do that.
They have sole use of the machine unless you are a friend, then you are allowed to ask if they mind.
My only backup is I would be horrified if somebody did this to me, if they asked first I ...
2
I don't know if this is the case for the parents in your area, but I (25F, no kids) find out about most of my events via Facebook events and groups these days.
I think it's worth creating a public Facebook event (not just a post). This will allow it to show up in Facebook searches. Then, you could find a few relevant local Facebook groups (maybe groups ...
2
You're so smart.
From your example, the asker is really just 'decorating' their thank you. I'm sure they think you are smart, but really, they're mostly expressing gratitude. That being the case, you can just respond with "no problem" or "you're welcome" as if they had just said "Thank you very much!".
...seemed really obvious to me because I've been ...
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