181 votes
Accepted

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

As the "computer person" among neighbors who are...not, I've dealt with this a few times. The person asking for your help does not want to be a freeloader and thus wants to compensate you; you do not ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
177 votes

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

Spend some time (with your wife) getting to know Jane. Invite her and her kids over for dinner, or a Saturday lunch grill-out, or have your two families meet for bowling or something. It seems strange ...
redOctober13's user avatar
  • 1,361
168 votes
Accepted

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

I'm female, so I don't have a lot of the concerns you would have, necessarily... or a different set of concerns, but the solution I would personally accept if a guy moved in next door to me would be ...
Catija's user avatar
  • 14.2k
148 votes
Accepted

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

My biggest concern with you addressing Jane is that she could take offense to the implication of her wanting to seduce you (presently or at a future time), so to avoid that I'd suggest saying ...
Jess K.'s user avatar
  • 22.7k
97 votes

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

In the United States and Canada, you can call a fire marshal (firefighters in France according to OldPadawan's comment) to come in and evaluate the entrance for fire code enforcement. They can order ...
MonkeyZeus's user avatar
  • 4,780
77 votes
Accepted

Co-tenants set up an inflatable pool outside my window. It's now breeding bugs. What can I do?

You've told them that standing water can cause problems with bugs, but that doesn't mean they've made the connection. People hear "X could cause problem Y" and dismiss it if they don't personally ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
77 votes

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I have found that asking for them to donate to a local charity works well. I have some fairly well-off friends who insist on paying me when I help them with computer or technical tasks but I do not ...
Joe S's user avatar
  • 4,780
69 votes
Accepted

How can I convince my neighbour to stop feeding my cat (I've already asked twice)?

Clearly, the answer is to tell your neighbor that your cat has a medical condition, and needs a special brand of food. Buy an extra bag or two of that food and give it to your neighbor and tell her ...
Daniel R. Livingston's user avatar
58 votes

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Why they choose to park at the door and block other people is irrelevant. Their car may be made of glass, they may have OCD, they may be jerks that don't care about other people. Whatever the reason,...
DaveG's user avatar
  • 7,310
56 votes

How do I get my neighbour to stop disturbing with loud music?

I once had a noisy neighbour who was very inconsiderate like yours. Talking to him, knocking on his door and writing him letters didn't help. You should look up the bylaws in your city and see if your ...
KevinM's user avatar
  • 569
55 votes

How to address awful smells from the flat above

It sounds like it's time for a police welfare check... If your assumptions are correct; that there's a disabled person living in an apartment with a small dog in unsanitary conditions, your looking ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.9k
54 votes
Accepted

How to introduce myself and my family to a new neighborhood?

Anecdotal but probably relevant: When we moved to our neighbourhood (Germany, rural area, medium size community) we threw a "Garage Party" and invited the closest neighbours. That is the ones you'll ...
Fildor's user avatar
  • 1,523
54 votes

How can I convince my neighbour to stop feeding my cat (I've already asked twice)?

Congratulations, you are a cat owner This is hardly an interpersonal problem, and it has little to do with your neighbor. She is under no obligation to take over full care of your cat and you can't "...
Theik's user avatar
  • 673
51 votes

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

I will assume that what you want to know is what you put in the title: How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology? In other words, I won't be addressing ...
aparente001's user avatar
  • 2,896
50 votes

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Sure you can Not an American but having lent and borrowed many tools to and from many different people from different cultures, this seems universal: I would plan on using it for a few hours and ...
Douwe's user avatar
  • 848
47 votes

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

If I understand correctly, your issue is you being in Jane's house (with or without your children, for any length of time at all) if your wife is not in your house or otherwise nearby. I am not sure ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.6k
43 votes

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

You have misgivings, and there's a number of ways you can avoid the situation. The simplest one is to say that your kids simply can't come out to play right now. No explanation is necessary - they'...
AndreiROM's user avatar
  • 17.2k
42 votes

How to address awful smells from the flat above

I think you are pretty much out of options and did everything right. To recap: you tried to establish contact to the person you confronted the only person you know to have contact to your neighbor ...
AK_is_curious's user avatar
38 votes

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

One thing that is missing from other answers. When accepting money you will take on responsibility for the result. There are two issues: If you got paid anything > $0, then neighbor can come knocking ...
aaaaa says reinstate Monica's user avatar
36 votes
Accepted

Do we need good fences to make good neighbors?

Personally, I find that charts and graphs help a lot, so I've mocked up what I assume your corner looks like based on the description in your question: I have a large corner lot facing South. Abby ...
Catija's user avatar
  • 14.2k
36 votes

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

Similar to the answer @Bilkokuya posted, the most important thing to stress here is that the number is for emergencies, and that you are not just providing your phone number to that particular ...
Link0352's user avatar
  • 4,236
33 votes
Accepted

How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child?

This is a very tough one, I feel sorry for you, really... As you can't tell people how to raise and take care of their kids, you're walking on eggs. Doing so would only lead into a dead-end and a no-...
OldPadawan's user avatar
  • 22.2k
33 votes
Accepted

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I was taught this as part of my training to be at a conference on behalf of the conference organizers. Talking to people is part of the job, and in fact standing at a booth for people to come and talk ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.6k
31 votes

Uncomfortable With Neighbor Mowing Our Lawn

Several things to bear in mind: Firstly, she very likely meant no harm whatsoever. She mowed your lawn, likely thinking she was doing you a favour. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's quite ...
anonymous2's user avatar
  • 2,821
30 votes
Accepted

How to address rude behavior by unknown neighbor?

It's probably better to knock and talk to your neighbors. Notes can often be misinterpreted or taken as more passive aggressive than you'd like. See http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com There's also ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.9k
30 votes

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

What you seek to do is to establish proper boundaries. One thing I've seen a lot by reading and talking with people who counsel folks who have had affairs is a common thread: "I never meant for this ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k

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