52 votes
Accepted

How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings

First off, I think you misunderstood the 'theory' part of social penetration theory. It's a theory researchers use to describe the development of friendships, instead of a method to follow for making ...
Tinkeringbell's user avatar
  • 33.9k
28 votes
Accepted

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

I'm going to try to answer the question, since I think I have some insight -- however I recognize that the question is very broad and my answer may not apply to all situations. The conversation you ...
ekl's user avatar
  • 899
23 votes

What impact does "mirroring" have on other people?

Mirroring is a process we do naturally and without thinking about it. But apparently, people can be trained to mimic this behavior. But, I would think that it can backfire if done poorly. Scientific ...
John's user avatar
  • 4,229
16 votes
Accepted

What impact does "mirroring" have on other people?

Mirroring is one of the components of "active listening." It indicates an empathy or sympathy with the person you are communicating with. These mirrored gestures are in some measure a natural ...
r m's user avatar
  • 4,346
16 votes

Does talking about mildly taboo topics with people normalize the subject for them?

TL;DR Yes. Here's one interesting study that actually set out to see if they could reproduce the finding of a previous fraudulent study... You gotta love science, after peer review. ... volunteers ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
16 votes

Why do people want eye contact when talking?

Eyes communicate intent Fair warning: this answer got long! The gist of it is that eyes are an important and useful indicator of intent due to a long history of biological and cultural evolution. ...
El'endia Starman's user avatar
15 votes
Accepted

What is "holding space" and how do I do it?

In my experience "holding space" is essentially a rebranding of empathetic response. It's something most people do naturally under the right circumstances, but it may require more effort for some ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
14 votes
Accepted

Are longer, text-heavy slides more effective at communicating ideas than quick, numerous slides?

Short answer No, short slides with bullet points are better. Long answer There's a pretty good amount of literature out there on this topic, so I'll collect the main points here. When you are giving a ...
Rainbacon's user avatar
  • 9,012
13 votes

Does talking about mildly taboo topics with people normalize the subject for them?

The article you quoted mentioned 'discussing' taboo topics. The article mentions talking about them more but doesn't say whether such discussions actually cause any change in people's perceptions ...
Tinkeringbell's user avatar
  • 33.9k
12 votes
Accepted

Is there any research showing whether sandwich feedbacks are more effective than other forms of feedback?

Edit: since some users raised the concern that the question cannot be answered with peer-reviewed articles, I looked for studies in PubMed, an exclusively academic database. The first two studies have ...
LinuxBlanket's user avatar
  • 9,763
10 votes

Negative feedbacks and "Language smoother"

The technique you are referring to is called escalation limiting, or more informally, disarming. disarming, adjective allaying criticism or hostility Receiving feedback often makes people ...
Rainbacon's user avatar
  • 9,012
9 votes
Accepted

What are some possible ways to maintain multiple friendships/friendship circles?

TL;DR: Friendship levels are fluid. Social Penetration Theory and Social Exchange Theory describe different levels of friendship and how people determine these levels. What you need to do to maintain ...
Tinkeringbell's user avatar
  • 33.9k
7 votes

What impact does "mirroring" have on other people?

Disclaimer: I've learned to use mirroring in meetings and negotiations. Sometimes I use it, sometimes I don't. It's definitely been used on me. I think it has some effect but I'm not sure how much. I'...
Simon Woodside's user avatar
7 votes
Accepted

How to detect and counteract gaslighting

Detection I believe the key point is to understand what a gaslighting is and what kind of traits are frequent among people that use this technique. Wikipedia notes on gaslighting (emphasis mine): ...
Diane M's user avatar
  • 4,720
6 votes

Negative feedbacks and "Language smoother"

How this speech pattern works is twofold: First, any kind of hedging (it seems to me, I think, it appears that lately) is literally a less extreme position than the same sentence without it. Compare: ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.7k
6 votes

Negative feedbacks and "Language smoother"

I did an intercultural communication course recently and one of the things that was pointed in the course - quite interestingly - is that your speech patterns and how you construct your discourse is ...
Juliana Karasawa Souza's user avatar
6 votes

How to effectively counteract a rhetorical technique where a position around a complex issue is summarized in one word?

Framing is used to have others think in a certain way about a problem. Winning the argument by assuming you already won. A classic example of framing outside politics is found in parenting smaller ...
Jan Niklas Fingerle's user avatar
6 votes

How do I make my criticism constructive?

This article 1 gives a short and sweet definition of what makes feedback constructive or unconstructive: In Study 1, 83 undergraduates received either constructive criticism (feedback that was ...
Tinkeringbell's user avatar
  • 33.9k
5 votes

What impact does "mirroring" have on other people?

Mirroring someone doesn't always result in positive reception. I'm not a professional in any relevant area, but I've talked to enough people and read enough discussions on the internet to know this: ...
user1306322's user avatar
4 votes
Accepted

Is silence an effective method for dealing with openly aggressive/confrontational individuals?

There are many many applications of "the silent treatment", it is one of the many de-escalation techniques used in fields from clinical medicine (dealing with unruly patients, breaking out ...
Juliana Karasawa Souza's user avatar
4 votes

Does Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" actually help us find people more interesting?

actually becoming more interested in others What does this mean? How do we measure it? These are questions that need (or at least, should) to be answered before we can even begin studying this ...
Discrete lizard's user avatar
3 votes

How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings

Even if you have the best intent in the world, using social strategies from theories could cause blowback, as people may be aware of what you're doing. Think criticism sandwich. People who know what ...
Ms Jackson's user avatar
3 votes

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Humans, like most mammals and particularly like primates, are social animals and a lot of our behaviors have been selected by evolution so that we want to fit in the group. Biologists showed that ...
Taladris's user avatar
  • 778
3 votes

Online conversation vs face to face interaction

Here's a short annotated bibliography,* with the caveat that it represents a skim, cull, and summary of just a few dozen abstracts in fields I don't know much about. I offer it more as a series of ...
Euchris's user avatar
  • 810
3 votes

How to effectively counteract a rhetorical technique where a position around a complex issue is summarized in one word?

I believe there are ways to counter the lack of nuance, black and white thinking that comes associated to this phenomenon. Play dumb Usually when we have a complex topic summarized in one word, and ...
Diane M's user avatar
  • 4,720
3 votes

How to detect and counteract gaslighting

Disclaimer, this is not academic research but in the style of normal answers on this site. My friend recently left an abusive relationship and realised she'd been gaslighted for a long time. She has ...
Bug Catcher Nakata's user avatar
3 votes

Does Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" actually help us find people more interesting?

No. At least, I spent 10 minutes searching Google Scholar for Effectiveness of "How to win friends and influence people" "Dale Carnegie", and the closest thing I found was this, ...
Sarov's user avatar
  • 616
3 votes

Do emojis help autists recognize feelings?

As a person with autism, I can say that when they are used appropriately and to help communicate an emotion or intention, especially for communication done through text-based communication, they can ...
Hail's user avatar
  • 31

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